Originally Posted by Jinn

I'm really struggling personally giving respect, in any sense of the word, to members of the military. Don't get me wrong, in an abstract sense I respect someone willing to put their lives on the line to truly defend America.

But I can't seem to escape this feeling lately that the military mostly recruits the uneducated or unmotivated to do our "dirty work", ultimately brainwashing them (even in the guise of unit cohesion) into fierce loyalty, unquestioning faith in authority, and the the fact that the US is always right. And interestingly enough, this tends to become conservative political beliefs too..

I know that my experience with military members is probably not indicative of the whole, and the former and current military on TFP seem to largely defy the stereotype. I just have a lot of miltary friends and live in a hugely military city and they all seem to fit the mold.

Recently I met a friend of a friend who was a former Stryker unit leader in the Army, and he made an offhand joke about how a bunch of dead "Hadjis" (Arabs) was a "beautiful" thing. I told him I thought that was inappropriate to say, whether it was a joke or not. He said I couldn't possibly understand as a civilian, and that I shouldn't really question him because he had done far more for the US than I had. He asked me why I was such a pussy, and wanted to know if I was one of those "Obamists" who want to apologize for America.

When I told my friend about it, he echoed the sentiment, and told me I shouldn't question his military friends because I couldn't ever compare to the kind of men they were. My ego was naturally hackled by that attack on my "manliness" and I probably overreacted and told him I was not interested in being friends with someone who would hide behind their uniform or defend those who did simply because they had served. I think I lost a high school friend as a result.

Unfortunately these kinds of conversations are not unique for me and I have been told over and over again that I really have no business talking since I haven't served in the military and because they are out there risking their lives to defend my ability to even make the "cowardly intellectual hippie criticisms."

Should I have let him slide since he was in the military? Am I really less of a man for not serving? Are there some things it is OK for them to do or say since they (admittedly) have probably seen things I will hopefully never see?

I really don't know, because I don't want to disrespect them but I also hate the idea that I can't criticize or even speak because they are such better patriots than I.

How much deference do YOU give members of the military? How much respect do you initially give them?