Quote:
Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe
Well since the only thing cooler than nailing two sisters is spreading your seed to two generations, the Jazz I knew would've concocted an elaborate scheme to not only get the OP off the hook entirely but land him a sympathy fuck from the mother-in law. You're going soft, Jazzy pants.
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You're right, you're right.
Here's what you do: take the wife out for a nice dinner. Order the apricot flambe for dessert. When it arrives, knock the waiter in the arm, spilling the flaming dessert across the restaurant. In the ensuing chaos, slip out the back and drive directly to the SIL's house but call you MIL on the way there and ask her to meet you since you and the wife have something to tell her. Tell the SIL all about the "disaster" in the restaurant and tune into local news coverage. Allow her to "comfort" you in your time of distress - "comfort" means no pants. Leave the front door unlocked, so that when your MIL walks in, she drops dead of a massive coronary because you've been feeding her lots of red meat recently. When the SIL gets up in a panic because her mom just dropped dead, donkey punch her then nail both dead bodies. Put both bodies in the MIL's car with the MIL in the driver's seat and glue her foot to the accelerator. Steal a tow truck and tow the car to the local farmers' market. Position the car to drive through the market, turn it on and release. You'll get off scott free because everyone knows that old people constantly mistake the gas and the brake around farmers' markets.
Let's see, I think I've conservatively proposed killing 10 people here in a manner that will get you out of trouble. As well as thrown in some necrophilia and grand theft auto. I believe my work here is done. Manic? Have I made my triumphant return?