Daniel_

I once had a wife who did various things when we were dating, including many sexual ones, which she stopped doing once we were living together.

Over the years we argued about many things, but we mostly argued about sex.

I wanted to do the things that she had claimed she loved, she wanted to do nothing at all.

She said that the pressure of my asking made her insecure and that I should not expect her to be interested in sex just because I was horny.

I wanted her to be happy, so I stopped asking.

Based on her claims, no longer asking should have relaxed her and caused us to have more of it.

What actually happened was she argued with me about why I no longer found her attractive and no longer wanted sex.

The fact is that the only person with a hope of knowing what's happening in your woman's head is your woman, and there's a fair chance she's lying to herself too, so even that option may not exist.

Tell her you love her to suck you off, tell her you're not going to ask her or force her, show her through your actions that it's something you can be trusted not to make her feel bad about.

She won't give you a blow job, but at least you'll not make her insecure.

As Rat said above, bedroom problems are never about bedroom issues.

Make her feel safe and loved, and she may tell you (in words or in deeds) that she can do what you crave, but if she can't you have to either love her and get over it, or leave her and get it elsewhere - what you should never do is get it elsewhere without either leaving her first or getting her permission. Only a poor excuse for a human being cheats on someone.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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