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Originally Posted by genuinegirly
I'm not convinced that you read my entire post. If so, you misunderstood completely.
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I read your post. If I misunderstood, I'd like to understand what you meant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly
If you're making requests, you're not having sex in the midst of a hot and heavy romantic whirlwind. Needing to ask for anything sexually is a sign that you are out-of-sync.
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Are you not saying it's a sign of something bad (being out of sync) if two partners communicate their desires (sexually or not) here?
Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly
Your relationship's level of non-verbal communication is not where it should be. To me, it doesn't sound like things will change because there is likely a deeper set of issues with your relationship. Her lack of enthusiasm for certain sexual acts is merely a symptom of a deeper concern. Watching you in plasure should provide at least some level of enjoyment for a healthy couple. You are placing stress on her by asking her to do something that might well repulse her.
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There does not need to be stress from communicating your desires to your partner nor asking them to help/perform/act them out. If she is repulsed from your honest communication of your desires, she certainly isn't being a loving, supportive partner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by genuinegirly
If she doesn't have fun with the activities you mention, stop requesting her to perform them. Let her know that you're going to stop asking, and tell her you're sorry for asking her to do these things.
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You have stated he should stop communicating his desires with her and apologize, and I think that is the opposite of what he should do if he wants a loving, healthy, honest relationship.
Perhaps you inferred that I thought a partner should do whatever their partner wanted, and be okay with that? If that's the case, I do not think that communication of desires means one partner must somehow "lose" or back down. I do think people should keep open minds, try things before hating on them, and understand that it takes sticking your neck out there to communicate somethings, and that if you want your partner to keep communicating with you if there is a problem (instead of hiding it, being miserable and making you miserable, cheating on you, dumping you, etc), you have to keep the interaction positive.
If only one side is doing all the compromising, though, I think that says more about the relationship than a lack of hand jobs. :P
I don't think there is much misunderstanding here. I just disagree with you. I love discussing topics like this so I'd love to communicate with you more about it.
