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There was a point in my marriage where I was frustrated and unhappy with our sexual life. It lasted a little under two months. I haven't been married long, I'm sure we'll go through more phases of miscommunication. I felt like my husband wasn't interested or trying thard enough. He didn't bother to smell nice when we had sex, he didn't seem interested in trying new things. During this same timeframe, he was regularly making me delicious dinners and many other little things to make my life easier. But the problem wasn't really him. I was frustrated with other things in life. I was feeling over-worked and would have been unahppy even if he went completely out of his way to make me happy. I didn't want to accept love in the format he offered. I had to reassess my needs and adjust my expectations. This was accomplished through both of us freely expressing our take on our individual efforts toward the relationship. I used to be turned on by the novelty of his manly scent at the end of the day. I hadn't told him that it wasn't a turn-on anymore. He was trying, I was not self-aware nor was I informative.
Ask yourself - are you the kind of person who is never satisfied? Will you always find something not-quite-right with the relationship? Are you doing everything you can to make this an enjoyable experience for her? Do you smell nice, are you clean shaven down-there? Is the space where you regularly have sex comfortable, warm and inviting? Does she find intercourse undesireable as well? You say that you have tried communicating, and claim that it's not the problem. But I contest that a couple cannot communicate too much.
If you're making requests, you're not having sex in the midst of a hot and heavy romantic whirlwind. Needing to ask for anything sexually is a sign that you are out-of-sync. Your relationship's level of non-verbal communication is not where it should be. To me, it doesn't sound like things will change because there is likely a deeper set of issues with your relationship. Her lack of enthusiasm for certain sexual acts is merely a symptom of a deeper concern. Watching you in plasure should provide at least some level of enjoyment for a healthy couple. You are placing stress on her by asking her to do something that might well repulse her. If she doesn't have fun with the activities you mention, stop requesting her to perform them. Let her know that you're going to stop asking, and tell her you're sorry for asking her to do these things.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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