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I would imagine it would depend on how/why the affair happened in the first place. Was it a long drawn out scenario that took place over the course of a few years or a one off thing that just sort of happened, maybe during a rocky point in the marriage? The former would be much harder to simply shrug off as it indicates that the other person is probably very unhappy and/or not committed to the relationship. The second scenario is much more forgivable and ultimately survivable in my opinion as it seems more of a moment of weakness perhaps even an attempt to garner the others attention.
I've always been a harsh realist so I understand that sometimes things just happen and can usually forgive transgression and move on if the motive wasn't too sinister. So I suppose if I was married I would think relationship could survive depending on the circumstances.
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