ratbastid

The whole nine yards, my friend. Er. Eighteen yards, in this case?

People think relationships are 50/50 things. I give my 50, you give your 50, we're good to go. Then when things don't work out, we figure out whose 50 didn't get provided, and they pay the child support.

That's crap. If you're going to have your relationship work, it's got to be 100/0. It's ALL mine to have it work, and NONE yours.

In particular, I have to be responsible for my own emotions and reactions. I don't have the luxury of being jealous. Not that I might not get jealous, I just don't get to indulge in it or make it anyone else's problem. Part of what this relationship structure requires is the willingness (not the ability--we all have the ability, but we might not pony up the willingness) to move through jealousy quickly and have it stay as MY emotion, not something someone else DID to me.

And they don't have to be that. I don't require any particular level of enlightenment to be in a relationship with me. They can be however they are. And it's my job to let them be okay however they are, having whatever experience they're having.