Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Last night, I met an astrologist. He knew everything about me.

jnthnlllshprd · 11-28-2009, 04:46 PM

I was bullshitting with my roommate at the gas station he works at after I got off of work.

A guy walks in, trades some friendly small talk and takes notice of my duty gear. Asks me where I work. I told him. He asks me my birthdate. 01/06/89.

Oh, Capricorn, he says. Here's what he also said:

"I'm gonna tell you what I believe I already know about you. Is that alright?"

Yeah, sure.

"I'm gonna guess your parents divorced early, and somehow you ended up spending more of your childhood with your mother. You have a stepfather whom you hate, and you carry a great resentment towards both of your parents. You probably switched between homes quite a lot, but one of your parents was often traveling, so you grew up in many parts of the country.

"You tend to be underestimated by your peers before you meet them, but when you get to talking, they instantly recognize your natural authority and are easily intimidated. This serves you very well in your job, because people would walk all over you if you didn't have that. Look at you, you're almost 21 and you look like you're 15, but with that aura of intensity, nobody wants to fuck with you."

By now I'm a little put-off by his compliments, but absolutely floored by his accuracy. My roommate is behind him, staring in disbelief but laughing his ass off.

"You're the type of person who can either be the best society has to offer, or the worst of the worst. Military background, correct? You didn't finish either, did you? This is the perfect example. Were you in the Corps? I thought so. But you got out early, because you're at the point in your life where you're teetering between a Christ-like influence or a Satanic impact. You chose the wrong time to join, but you weren't wrong for doing it because you were born with such an immense potential. You need to take hold of this teeter-totter and tilt it in your favor immediately.

"You definitely wish to express your authority and self-discipline in a demanding career. You want to be a cop, don't you? (*I signed up for CMPD registration not long ago) I wouldn't recommend that. Instead, stick with security, because that intensity will make you the best security officer anyone's ever seen, while it could harm your career as a police officer.

"See, you're like me. I'm a Capricorn with similar birth numbers as well. Your intensity and perseverance can easily bring yourself or the world down to shambles. And you try very hard to be just and moral. I know you Marines believe in Honor, Courage, and Commitment, but you live by that even today. Yeah, you do fucked up shit and you know it, but you don't like that about yourself. You have faith in God, but you don't go to church or agree with anyone else's beliefs. You and God have your own connection, and no one else can walk down your spiritual path. You're almost like a lone Samurai, with God as your emperor."

By this point I'm chain-smoking and haven't said a word. This man is breaking me down like a house of marshmellows.

"Bro, just go with your heart. Obviously you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. You just gotta prevent yourself from falling into 'the dark side', you know what I'm saying? Like that Star Wars shit."

Then he told me to have a good night, recommended some Astrology literature to me, and left without looking back.

Today, I woke up, geared up, ate, and worked out, and I don't have to be at work for 3 hours. I'm utterly stunned and I feel like God is watching me with a microscope.

According to my roommate, this same guy walked in once and told him that his car had been stolen in Atlanta, and it was already butchered in the chop shops, but not to worry about it because he's gonna get a good deal on a decent car.

I wasn't there, but my roommate is a very honest person. My roommate's car actually had been stolen in Atlanta at some concert, and the police still haven't found it, but not even a week later he got a Hyundai from his father for 200 bucks, and there's nothing wrong with the damn thing except for some damage to the right side of the body.

I think this man is a true prophet.

Anyone ever had a similar experience?

11-28-2009, 04:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
jnthnlllshprd Tilted	Last night, I met an astrologist. He knew everything about me. I was bullshitting with my roommate at the gas station he works at after I got off of work. A guy walks in, trades some friendly small talk and takes notice of my duty gear. Asks me where I work. I told him. He asks me my birthdate. 01/06/89. Oh, Capricorn, he says. Here's what he also said: "I'm gonna tell you what I believe I already know about you. Is that alright?" Yeah, sure. "I'm gonna guess your parents divorced early, and somehow you ended up spending more of your childhood with your mother. You have a stepfather whom you hate, and you carry a great resentment towards both of your parents. You probably switched between homes quite a lot, but one of your parents was often traveling, so you grew up in many parts of the country. "You tend to be underestimated by your peers before you meet them, but when you get to talking, they instantly recognize your natural authority and are easily intimidated. This serves you very well in your job, because people would walk all over you if you didn't have that. Look at you, you're almost 21 and you look like you're 15, but with that aura of intensity, nobody wants to fuck with you." By now I'm a little put-off by his compliments, but absolutely floored by his accuracy. My roommate is behind him, staring in disbelief but laughing his ass off. "You're the type of person who can either be the best society has to offer, or the worst of the worst. Military background, correct? You didn't finish either, did you? This is the perfect example. Were you in the Corps? I thought so. But you got out early, because you're at the point in your life where you're teetering between a Christ-like influence or a Satanic impact. You chose the wrong time to join, but you weren't wrong for doing it because you were born with such an immense potential. You need to take hold of this teeter-totter and tilt it in your favor immediately. "You definitely wish to express your authority and self-discipline in a demanding career. You want to be a cop, don't you? (*I signed up for CMPD registration not long ago) I wouldn't recommend that. Instead, stick with security, because that intensity will make you the best security officer anyone's ever seen, while it could harm your career as a police officer. "See, you're like me. I'm a Capricorn with similar birth numbers as well. Your intensity and perseverance can easily bring yourself or the world down to shambles. And you try very hard to be just and moral. I know you Marines believe in Honor, Courage, and Commitment, but you live by that even today. Yeah, you do fucked up shit and you know it, but you don't like that about yourself. You have faith in God, but you don't go to church or agree with anyone else's beliefs. You and God have your own connection, and no one else can walk down your spiritual path. You're almost like a lone Samurai, with God as your emperor." By this point I'm chain-smoking and haven't said a word. This man is breaking me down like a house of marshmellows. "Bro, just go with your heart. Obviously you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. You just gotta prevent yourself from falling into 'the dark side', you know what I'm saying? Like that Star Wars shit." Then he told me to have a good night, recommended some Astrology literature to me, and left without looking back. Today, I woke up, geared up, ate, and worked out, and I don't have to be at work for 3 hours. I'm utterly stunned and I feel like God is watching me with a microscope. According to my roommate, this same guy walked in once and told him that his car had been stolen in Atlanta, and it was already butchered in the chop shops, but not to worry about it because he's gonna get a good deal on a decent car. I wasn't there, but my roommate is a very honest person. My roommate's car actually had been stolen in Atlanta at some concert, and the police still haven't found it, but not even a week later he got a Hyundai from his father for 200 bucks, and there's nothing wrong with the damn thing except for some damage to the right side of the body. I think this man is a true prophet. Anyone ever had a similar experience?