Blue

Well isn't this a hell of a topic.

I can't think of a better place to post it.

A few years ago, on my birthday no less, I had sex with a man.

That was my first. Since the first time, we had sex probably 10 times. Scattered around maybe a year. I've never gone out and seen any other men, and haven't really pursued it.

Since I was 17 I've been interested and pursued women. So this experience with a guy was a little different. I had explored with guys when I was much younger a few times, but nothing very serious. No actual sex.

Now since this experience a few years ago I have been different. Recently I have been obsessed with thoughts of my male lover. When I masturbate I often think of him instead of previous female lovers. I even purchased a prostate toy to play with while I masturbate, and now it's rare for me to masturbate without it.

It has consumed my life almost, and I don't know what to do. I find myself thinking about it a lot and I don't know where to draw the line.

I think I prefer women, but there is a special place in my sexuality for men I think. Ever since I was a little boy I have been interested in it. I was surprised when I actually had the opportunity to act on it, and I was pleasantly surprised how turned on it made me. I just remember how much I loved it.

I think I like the role reversal the most. I like being the one getting fucked, instead of the one fucking. It's like looking in a mirror at what I would be doing, and I love watching it.

So this isn't really a question, or a statement. It's just an exploration of thought, and if you have an opinion, please share.