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Prague, Czech Republic.
Zelivskeho Metro station, departing for Namesti Miru Metro station by way of Stanice Muztek.
1605: Board Metro. Stand near door for better view of Czech female hotness on platforms.
1607: Feel something in left front trouser pocket. Quick mental inventory establishes that I am 100% Not Aroused, and my own hands are in my jacket pockets. Look down, see unknown hand in trousers. Look up; discover that hand is attached to startled-looking 17-year-old(ish) White* kid.
1607.30: Reach into pocket, yank kid's hand out, twist kids arm behind his back until it creaks and shove kid against wall. Explain, in broken Czech, my situation. White passengers laugh, Gypsy pickpockets further down the car laugh a LOT.
1609: Arrive at Stanice Muztek. Propel kid, still in arm-twisting compliance hold, down the platform and up the stairs to the Metske Policie (Prague Metropolitan Police) station at the top of the escalator. Policeman at the desk speaks English; release my captive into their custody and make report.
1615-2035: Answer 10,976 questions from Metro Police, Transport Police, and Foreign Police. Passport scrutinized, briefcase checked, and shoes inspected. Finally released four hours later, making it to my local pub just in time for the Madrid/Milan match to end. Bugger.
2100: Informed by fellow barflies that the kid was probably released immediately. Fellow patrons suggest breaking pickpockets arms next time, or just telling the Gypsies they can have whatever they can find in his pockets while he's being sat upon.
From then on, I kept my wallet in my briefcase and stood against the wall when on the Metro.
*Most pickpockets in Prague, at least the competent ones, are Roma. A non-Gypsy pickpocket is very odd, but probably a good move for a more competent thief; nobody in Prague expects to get their pocket picked by a white kid, not least because the Gypsy pickpocket gangs will defend their turf with some ferocity.
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