The only real experience I have on this issue is actually fairly recent. I identify as a lesbian, and about this time last year I had just known this girl for a month of two and she was starting to drive me bonkers.
She told me she was bisexual, and we would flirt, and we would hold hands and for months, MONTHS we kept on with this, and I would do everything I could to figure out if she liked me back, tried so hard to convince her we could be good together, that I would love and support her(she has a few emotional "problems") and eventually she decided she was more on the straight side of bisexual, and that we should just, JUST be friends. Final and firm. She's still one of my best friends.
I really think in terms of ethics it depends on the situation. If you just find someone you think its hot and you find out they don't bat for your team and you try to fix that, I don't think that's right. If you fall for someone unlikely(someone of your sex when you've identified as heterosexual, someone of the opposite sex when you're identified with homosexual, a great friend, ect) That's different, That's circumstance. Love is a force you can't deny. It happens at random, unexpectedly. You don't get to chose who you fall for.
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