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Thanks for your answers, everyone.
I have had a look at those mentioned by healer, I think the Nexus Jr would be a good choice to begin with, or even the best at all. I really dont need anything bigger, I just seek to feel her every hump (not sure I wrote that right, sorry).
And yes, Redlemon, the two of us still need a lot of talking before we even try. We have had some anal play before, not on a regular basis, but I took once four of her fingers. Ey, from time to time I get to play with hers too, but I believe she would much rather prefer not to have a direct contact with my rectum. Loves to fuck me too, when we exchange roles. Boy, our kitchen has seen quite some hot action...
So, control is the key even more than confort? I definitely want something that makes it worth the exercise apart from my own pleasure totally at her disposal, but do you think a vibrator device is out of place this soon?
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