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What I'm saying is, every time there's a breakthrough in communication media, the new technology gets blamed for the abuse that it's used for. Gutenberg was accused of slander because his press design was used by others for publications that defamed public figures. Not even the press he built and owned, but others built following his design! This is no different.
My point is, Facebook isn't violating anybody's privacy (except when they are--technical failures that expose private information have happened, but are beyond the scope of this conversation). It's the OP's wife who's exposing info he doesn't wish to be exposed. IMO the fact that she's doing it on the intertubes is complete beside the point.
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