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Originally Posted by trikeaband.com
I have to stop drinking. I realize this will be extremely hard but I have to. Thing is, I'm not an alcoholic in the sense that I don't drink every day... usually just on the weekends, but the problem is this: I drink to excess, to the point where I get blackouts and I become somebody I don't like.
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Alcoholism isn't just drinking to excess... it's the inappropriate use of alcohol when you do drink. There are MANY, MANY weekend or part-time alcoholics. It's the old excuse "I'm only a drunk when I drink!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by trikeaband.com
I have a GF but when I get drunk I mess around with other girls and I don't treat her well. That has happened countless times. Yet when I'm not drunk I treat her well. I also get blackouts which suck because I don't remember anything the next day. That happens almost every time I drink/ get drunk now.
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Two things here... your self-destructive behaviour
IS going to cost you your girlfriend, and many future relationships if you don't get help. Soon. Secondly, the blackouts are a very serious indication that you need to do something. NOW.
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Originally Posted by trikeaband.com
And I know I'll be judged because the handful of times I have attempted this in the past I have. A friend whom I quite like didn't wanna hang out with me because he wanted to get pissed and silly. That made me a bit sad, but what am I to do?
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Get to AA. It is the most non-judgmental organisation you will ever find. EVERYONE there has your problem, has lived through what you're going through (and probably worse), and wants 1) to control their disease; and 2) support the others going through this. And that guy wasn't really your friend... he was your drinking buddy. Avoid them.
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Originally Posted by trikeaband.com
And before you say, "why not just be a social drinker? just have one or two?" ... because I won't want "just" one or two. It'll become more and more... I am the sort that needs total abstinence... because I'm an extremist.
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You definitely have a handle on this aspect. As an alcoholic, I can tell you that cutting down won't work. Cutting off is easier than cutting down.
What you do need to do, if the drinking occasions are career-mandatory, is enlist some friends who will run interference for you and support you. Start with your girlfriend, confess you problem, and get her to watch out for you. Get a few others who will make sure you're sipping softdrinks, coffee/tea, or juices at these functions. You'd be surprised how common it is, and how unnoticeable it will be. Many of my colleagues and friends DON'T know I don't drink.
BTW... a better solution, at least in the short-term, is to avoid all together any social gatherings where drinking is the norm.
Finally... hang in there. Realising you have a problem is the first step. Seeking help and support is the second. Put your faith in whatever you need to get you through this (AA refers merely to a higher power). I never gave up drinking forever... just for today (27 years, 1 month, and 17 days ago, but who's counting, right?). I can joke about it now, but I know the demon is still lurking there, and I like my sobriety too much now to ever take that first drink.
Good luck, and know our thoughts are with you!