|
This is complicated, because you say you are in love with each other. And only just married really.
But it is also simple.
You have tried toning it down. But you feel unhappy. And angry.
You have tried communicating with him, but he doesn't seem to think there is a problem. To him, everything is working fine. When you discuss it, he's really only humouring you.
A relationship can never work if it is one sided.
Either he realizes this is a potential dealbreaker or he just continues as is.
It sucks to say this because you guys are married and want to stay committed to each other.
I don't see a solution. The only solutions realistically are:
1) Stay with him. Become more and more frustrated, angry and unhappy. I seriously doubt he is going to change anything. Are you changing to accommodate his vanilla tastes? In your heart, it's something forced. Well, it would be the same for him to go for kinky sex, and more of it.
2) Leave him. Find someone who is on the same wavelength as you. Next time you know this topic can't be brushed aside, and should be handled right at the start.
This may not seem like a helpful post but it really is how bluntly I see your situation.
__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
|