The sickest I have been doesn't equate with the worst I have felt. So I'll describe both.
The sickest I have been was when I was first diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I was very, very anaemic and my doctor considered checking me into hospital because she thought I might need some blood transfusions.
The worst I have felt due to illness is when I had a really awful case of cystitis. My worst moments were when I was in so much pain that the only way I could pee was in a bathtub full of warm water. It felt like someone was stabbing me in my crotch with a knife.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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