Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Betty
I've been in a two year relationship with a more sexually experienced man. He definately has more kinks than I am used to, and I have tried several things to keep up. We're talking bondage, riding crops, ropes, blindfolds dominatrix shit. I want to fulfill his needs and I've tried to get him to open up and tell me what his fantasies are, but I think he's holding back. Do I just beat it out of him during play, and 'accidently' forget the safe word? (I'm joking of course) But that's not my only beef about the senario. I feel like I am doing all of the work to keep our sex life alive and kicking. For once I would like to be the one that he does something special for. Passion is dependent on novelty and discovery. When we have routine sex, it really kills the passion for me. I want to get him to want me so intensly that he is overcome with desire. How do I get the same effort from him? Maybe I've been spoiling him by always taking the initiative. I just don't know anymore..... Any suggestions?
|
Well, on the surface of it, it sounds like you have a basic incompatibility. If his kink is indeed to be always submissive and never initiate, yet you want someone who will initiate sometimes and perhaps dominate, then you have a core difference in sexual tastes and aims. In my experience, core differences like these are hard to overcome. If you can't arrive at a mutually agreeable solution, then you have to face the inevitable breakup or learn to be satisified with less than what you desire. And so will he.