My insecurities are holding me back---- keeping from enjoying my life. I am so self-conscious every second of every day that it consumes me. It has led to compulsive behavior and severe anxiety and depression. I want to feel liked by the people in my life so badly that I lose sight of what is best for me and I end up neglecting myself and my needs. I feel like the real me, the happy me that I used to be, rarely makes an appearance anymore. I really miss being her. I think the more I get hurt and denied, the farther out of reach she gets. I should be fighting to find her again, but instead I do the exact opposite. All of the negative thoughts and feelings about myself drive her farther away. I just want to start having confidence in, believing in & loving myself again. I want the negative thoughts to go away and I have no one that I can talk to about it. I have a number of wonderful people in my life, yet I feel so lonely because I don’t want them to know.
I wish I had health insurance. I don't know if what's going on with me can be helped without medication.
