Cynthetiq

Something I learned recently, my great grandfather sent all the women in the family to finishing school for 2 years. The men, were given the option of taking a liberal arts education first, then any degree desired, and university would be paid for. Decline the liberal arts, and your degree was on your dime.

My parents had Monday night formal dinner. We had to dress up, jacket and tie for the men, dress for the ladies. The dinner was served on the good china with the silverware and we ate in the formal dining room. We had multiple courses and we had wine with dinner. Coffee served with desert.

This was a bit strange at first since none of my friends did such a thing in their homes. But after a few months it was very comfortable. It was so comfortable that when it came time for date nights, I cooked on Friday nights and we ate in the formal dining room with the good china and I asked my date to be dressed. It saved some cash and after dinner maybe we'd go out or maybe we'd just retire to the living room and sit and talk.

This ritual got me interested in etiquette, and in my youth my copy of Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette was well worn.

Senior year in high school, we no longer had a religious studies class. It was for all intrinsic purposes a finishing class. We were taught how to shake hands. How to properly fold and address an envelope. How to greet people. How to life a life respecting others.

I remember when I was getting serious with Skogafoss, I did ask her if she would be interested in going to finishing school. She said she'd be interested in going, but it never materialized and I never asked again.

Now that I'm 40, I can't tell you how many times I go to events and people don't know how to act with the extra silverware or plates. They don't understand that you're to eat with your mouth closed, and should wipe your mouth before sipping from your glass (gross to see the coagulated oil from the steak or clarified lobster butter on the rim of glasses.) They don't understand that you shouldn't touch your food with your fingers, pushing those last grains of rice, corn, or peas with their thumbs.

Manners go beyond ma'am and sir. They go into simple protocols like eating food, greeting someone when you see them, good moring, good afternoon, good evening, or good night, or even having polite discussion and debate.

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