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Old 09-24-2009, 05:14 PM   #26 (permalink)
levite
Minion of Joss
 
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Location: The Windy City
Without getting into this discussion of the South and its virtues, I will say, on the subject of politeness, that while I agree that we could stand quite a bit more "please" and "thank you," I do not at all care for the frequent or regular use of "sir" or "ma'am." In certain business situations that call for a direct address without introductions, maybe (e.g., "Oh, ma'am, you've forgotten your receipt!"). But not all the time.

My general policy is that kids of friends get to use my first name. Kids of colleagues and strangers get to start with Mr. (or after next year, Rabbi), and call me by my first name after they ask permission, or I give it first. My high school students-- while they are my students-- call me Mr. or Rabbi, but after they are no longer in my class, they get to use my first name. But when I have taught college classes, even freshmen, I go by my first name. I'm there to help students learn, not inspire fear of my awesome decorum.

But as a general rule, I do not care for formality. I believe there are already enough barriers between people, and I don't care to make more via social etiquette. I like being easygoing and relaxed, and I like to hope others do also. I am a big believer in politeness and friendliness, but I don't see why they need to be accompanied by titles and stiff distinctions.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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