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Jinn, that's the part that intrigues me most. Since the Southern culture is an historically military culture, the saying of "sir" and "ma'am" is an historically integral part of the language. To leave off the "sir" or "ma'am" is like leaving off the verb in the sentence - it just sounds wrong to us to leave it off.
However, to people who weren't taught to do this, it not only sounds wrong to them for someone to say "sir" or "ma'am," it seems to explosively insult them down their most fragile nerve. It seriously seems to piss them off to be addressed as "sir" or "ma'am," and I can't figure that out.
When Natalee Holloway disappeared in Aruba a few years ago, Greta von Sustern interviewed a few of her school friends from Birmingham, and they all addressed her as "ma'am" during their conversations. You could see Greta's blood boiling at being called "ma'am" and she started actively cutting them off so they couldn't say it.
Why? Why does that offend so horribly?
The only other thing that comes to mind along those same lines is opening doors for the ladies. Every now and then, we encounter one of those "enlightened" Yankees down here who gets all pissy and confrontational when we hold a door for her. You just kind of have to roll your eyes and take it when somone reacts that way.
And Grancey is right about her statement - we were given specific instructions for our New York trip on how to NOT be nice to people so we wouldn't offend or scare anybody. I'd love to see what somone thinks as an answer to her question.
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Living is easy with eyes closed.
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