They're not letting me because I'm with a counsellor at the moment. The incentive for contacting a counsellor stemmed from my doctor after telling him that I was having outbursts of stress that increased gradually, and at an exponential rate over the past two years. However, after talking the counsellor, they told me that I would need to finish it - a year - before being allowed to see a psychotherapist - possibly another year/half, and then for their response telling me if I'm allowed to go through HRT or not. The problem is that I'm 18 - I can't wait much longer otherwise the testosterone in my body would continue changing my physiology, and feel the need to pass as a female at a minimum before I'm 19. The lack of feminization has also depressed me a lot, and most often on a weekly basis to the point of considering suicide; I'm desperate to become female (I've also wanted to be a girl when I was younger, despite displaying male behaviour and response). I also don't know how to tell my counsellors about this; I fear that they may tell me to leave it, or get me prescribed with something else when I know I'd feel a lot better as a female (whenever I feel more feminine I tend to feel a lot more positive). So... I'm going to order female hormones online instead for the time being until I can be put through HRT.
