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I am often physically aggressive at the slightest provocation (to other men, I have never been physically aggressive to a woman in my life)
I have an idealised and patronising view of women
I hate my own heart
I am a liar
I drink too much
I am an attention seeker
I am compulsive
I am an emotional coward
I am emotionally fragile and my confidence freuently crashes - causing me to behave irrationally and depessively (ie writing abuse directed at myself on the walls of my own house, breaking things, drinking heavily)
I like to think I dont care, but far too often I care too much
I am often disloyal
Sometimes I feel like I have no real feelings at all, just a dead weight at the centre of me surrounded by automatic responses and learned behaviour.
To be honest I sound like a real cunt.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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