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There are two different questions I can answer here, so I'll start by answering the thread title:
What makes me wary of exes is the fact that once there was, in all likelihood, a high degree of intimacy shared between them and my current partner. Unless my partner finished with them after only a short time spent with them, I am likely to not love the ex. The longer they spent together, the less I am likely to trust an ex if they are still a strong presence in my partner's life. Maybe it seems too strong a feeling to have, but I have been in a few relationships where exes were around that way and it grated me though I put up with it...in one case, I got cheated on with an ex. :\
Your second question, relating to your own situation is of course specific to you and your own issues with yourself and with him. Be confident and don't sell yourself short. All of us have to deal with exes at one time or another. Never think he's too good for you. Never tell him that either. Insecurity on that level opens the door to all sorts of trouble. If he chose to be with you, and you chose to be with him, there are strong reasons for it. You are not those girls, and they are not you. Everyone has different qualities and you have to trust that in you, your partner sees something he was unable to find in them. I also have to say that, you are a very sexy, beautiful woman and you should not be doubting yourself this way. You are also intelligent, driven and have a lot to offer...it's not all about the booty.
In relation to this particular ex...forget about her. She has babies and is going to be married. If you get paranoid about it, it will show, and then you may drive him toward her. Let it go and trust him. Your eyes are open...now relax.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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