LAW2

Crompsin I hope that this thread does not discourage you. While I am/was/will be in pain I can see some light. Warrrreagl said it “Every. Single. Marriage. Is. Different.” What I learned may not apply to you or anyone else.
Some of the things I learned relate only to me and how to be true to myself, to be a better person and areas I need to grow in.

What I have learned that anyone can use is as follows.

• Life is hard.
• Relationships require work from both people.
• Communication is key.
• Never take your relationship for granted.
• Never think you know what the other person is thinking or feeling. Communication again.
• Always continue to grow as a person and an individual.
• Loving someone and being loved in return is the best thing in the world. It is worth all the risks and pain that you may experience.
• Don’t live your life in denial. I ignored the early signs and didn’t address them until after she found someone.
• People make mistakes. It’s whether you can learn from them or not that is important.
• Breakups and divorce are not failures and are not the end.
• Forgiveness goes a long way in healing the heart. I could be mad and hurt by all this but what does that do for me? I have to move on.
• You make your own happiness.
• If you are happy you are more attractive.
• Nobody deserves anything. You have to earn it, work for it or make it on your own.
• Friends and strangers (like the people on this board) can be quite comforting and helpful.

I understand her feelings. I was going through her stuff, purse, email, etc. But prior to this we were totally trusting of one another and had open access to everything. The feeling that she got was because she now had something to hide and she got caught.
...

Recovery of the marriage...No. Personal recovery and the pursuit happiness...Yes.