Quote:
Originally Posted by amonkie
While this sucks, she is not entirely at fault - What kind of sign is it that you went snooping? I've heard the line don't snoop if you can't handle what you find.
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Uh... uhm, wow, your logic totally escapes me here. How is anybody supposed to "win," again? He can't "handle" the cheating?
What? The cheating now or the cheating later? It's cheating, right? He expressed his concern before snooping. Do the ends justify the means or not?
Meh, here's the scenarios as I see them:
Scenario A: Partner cheating, don't snoop because you're a Good Human (TM), you get totally blindsided, go on Bourbon diet for the next month.
Scenario B: Partner cheating, you snoop / get tipped off by the odd cock taste in your mouth after you kiss them at night, prepare yourself / confront them about it, threaten to sue their ass because they know nothing of the law and they're going to try to ditch the kids and keep the cat.
Scenario C: Partner cheating, you go all ignorance'd, relationship with cheater continues for
X time. Herpes could make a guest appearance if you're lucky.
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I've said before that I'm all "arms wide open" /
Strike Face - I'm A Softy in relationships but I'm still way confused here. Not a genius, but let's say for sake of emo example that I've had a few partners cheat on me before and that I was totally blindsided by both separate revelations even though all the "Heh, I'm
totally fucking around on you" signs were there in my face like bling in a rap video. How did I miss this? Was it because I trusted my partner implicitly?
Am I dumb? Was I wrong? Which is the lesser evil here? Ignorance or snooping? Are we foolish to plead ignorance until our wittle hearts essplode again?
Hell, I'm just trying to figure out some kinda Lessons Learned bit from this thread. Is there anything to take away from something like this? I had so much hope that the OP would resolve his communication issues... maybe through a cool down period... only to watch him get nuked. Downright painful.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LAW2
However, had I not snooped I would have remained clueless as to her true intentions and would have continued trying and hoping to save our marriage.
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Amen. It is not the thing that hurts, it is the hope of the thing. What do you feel like you have learned from any of this? I really would like to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAW2
In the end it was the right thing for me to do. She admitted that while she felt slightly violated she would have done the same thing but far worse.
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She felt violated, huh? Ouch.
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Note to self: Reading and participating in this thread totally doesn't aid any potential recovery process. It seems to reinforce established notions.