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warrrreagl · 09-07-2009, 07:24 AM

I'm sorry I got to this thread late. First of all, I've been married twice. The first marriage doesn't count, because it never should have happened, and I was standing at the church on my wedding day trying to think of ways to get out of it. It lasted a year. I haven't heard a word from her in almost 30 years, so that one is done.

On the day I married Grancey, my father finally gave me real "married guy" advice. He said, "Marriage is a lot of hard work. It ain't easy." Still being young, dumb, and stupid, I thought he was nuts. Instead, it's been the most cogent thing anyone has ever said to me about marriage. And it took me far too long to understand it. Thank God Grancey is who she is, or my ass would have been tossed a long time ago.

Every. Single. Marriage. Is. Different.

You can NEVER look at someone else's marriage and say, "Hey, they look happy. We're not happy. Let's do what they do and then we'll be happy. And if we were truly happy, we'd be doing exactly what they're doing." That will fail absolutely 100% of the time. Also, you can't ever look at Section D, Paragraph 19 of the Successful Marriage Manual to figure out anything. You can't go to marriage.com and check out the FAX on fixing a broken marriage. You can't drive your marriage over to the mechanic and have him hook it up to the computer diagnostics. There is no therapist, no book, no seminar, no priest, no fortune teller, and no best friend who will EVER be able to truly help you with your own marriage. It has to come from the two of you. And my father was right - it's hard work, and it ain't easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is.

Keeping Grancey from kicking me to the curb has been the most successful thing I've ever done.

09-07-2009, 07:24 AM	#30 (permalink)
warrrreagl pinche vato Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton	I'm sorry I got to this thread late. First of all, I've been married twice. The first marriage doesn't count, because it never should have happened, and I was standing at the church on my wedding day trying to think of ways to get out of it. It lasted a year. I haven't heard a word from her in almost 30 years, so that one is done. On the day I married Grancey, my father finally gave me real "married guy" advice. He said, "Marriage is a lot of hard work. It ain't easy." Still being young, dumb, and stupid, I thought he was nuts. Instead, it's been the most cogent thing anyone has ever said to me about marriage. And it took me far too long to understand it. Thank God Grancey is who she is, or my ass would have been tossed a long time ago. Every. Single. Marriage. Is. Different. You can NEVER look at someone else's marriage and say, "Hey, they look happy. We're not happy. Let's do what they do and then we'll be happy. And if we were truly happy, we'd be doing exactly what they're doing." That will fail absolutely 100% of the time. Also, you can't ever look at Section D, Paragraph 19 of the Successful Marriage Manual to figure out anything. You can't go to marriage.com and check out the FAX on fixing a broken marriage. You can't drive your marriage over to the mechanic and have him hook it up to the computer diagnostics. There is no therapist, no book, no seminar, no priest, no fortune teller, and no best friend who will EVER be able to truly help you with your own marriage. It has to come from the two of you. And my father was right - it's hard work, and it ain't easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is. Keeping Grancey from kicking me to the curb has been the most successful thing I've ever done. __________________ Living is easy with eyes closed.