that is true ratbastid. But clearly that has already been established in this case. He did not tell her beforehand and then seems to have hidden the whole truth when she found out about his chatting.
So where to go from here? You need to talk this through. Decide where your boundaries lie.
For myself, I would not be ok with this. Here is why: the fact that there is a regularity with these girls opens the way for more than just 'exchanging porn'. Call me insecure but that's how I feel. In terms of an intimate, emotional relationship, I am not ok with doing that with more than one person at once. I don't feel I need to allow this sort of thing to go on if it really grates me enough to make me feel constantly miserable in my relationship. People feel how they feel, and it's not easy to just get around emotions like that. Doesn't mean it's the same for everyone, some people make this kind of situation work, and very well at that.
Also, the fact that it's one on one. If he was, say, looking at naked or semi-naked girls in a public chat situation, as occurs in TFP chat currently (
), I wouldn't care. It is more playful, and has no intent other than to show off, arouse and be aroused. There is no one-on-one interaction really. Seems harmless.
I spoke about this with a friend and he said that to him, it depends on whether this interaction is satisfying some sexual need/fantasy of his that his girlfriend is unable to satisfy herself. This opens a whole other can of worms, but let's get past the 'what does she have that I don't' considerations. He said, it's the 'ability to coax a girl out of her pants' that's alluring.
But if you turn that around, and say 'so if a girl decides to speak to one guy, regularly, so he can coax her out of her pants', is her boyfriend going to be quite alright with that?'
We're only human. To the guys, don't tell me you didn't even feel a twinge when I flipped it over.