levite

Wow, that was fast! OK, boys and girls, here we go...!!!


Even amongst the Orthodox communities, there are variations, and even a spectrum of how strictly one interprets the rules of kashrut (keeping kosher, both in terms of what you eat, and in terms of the various rules of your kitchen and your table, is collectively referred to as kashrut). So there is no one perfect way of observing the laws of kashrut.

That said, from a traditional standpoint, your wife's employer is doing a little bit of friendly cheating. His standards of kashrut seem to me to fall into a fairly common spectrum of center to left-wing non-Orthodox Judaism. Which, being ever-so-slightly to the right of center myself, I find understandable, but regrettable.

Then again, anyone to the right of me, which would include a small slice of the Conservative Movement, and the entirety of Orthodoxy, both Modern and otherwise, would say the same for my practice.

I am pretty firm on that I will not eat forbidden creatures (we'll get back to what falls into that list in a moment), nor will I eat any mixture of meat and dairy, nor will I eat non-kosher meat of any kind. That said, I will sometimes go to non-kosher restaurants, and there consume dairy meals, even though a more Orthodox interpretation of kashrut would say that there is simply no way for a hot (cooked) dairy meal in a non-kosher restaurant to be free from the taint of non-kosher meat. The key difference to me between what I do and what many more loose practitioners of non-Orthodox kashrut does is that I have the opinions of several Conservative rabbis whom I trust that say that to eat dairy in a non-kosher restaurant is halakhically permissible in some cases, and I have researched the issues of Jewish law myself also, to determine how and why I ought to be able to do so, and under what circumstances.

To non-Jews, I understand that this can sound so esoteric and obsessed with minutiae that it's nonsense. I sympathize with that, but this is what comes of Christianity not being a law-based religion. It creates a vastly different experience of what constitutes observance....

In short, I guess I would say my observance of kashrut is stricter than most liberal Jews, less strict that most Orthodox Jews.

BTW, forbidden creatures. The short version is this. If it's a land animal it needs to have split hooves and chew its cud. Basically, ruminants like cows and goats and sheep are kosher. Camels, for example, chew their cud but have no split hoof: not kosher. Pigs have split hooves, but don't chew their cud: not kosher. If it's a bird, the short list is chickens, ducks, geese, pigeons, partridges, quails. There might be a couple of exotics I missed, but that's the basic list. When it comes to fish or things that live in the water: it's got to have fins and scales. Catfish have fins but no scales: not kosher. There's a debate about swordfish: Orthodoxy says they have skin not scales, Conservative Judaism says they have skinlike scales. Crustaceans, cetaceans, anything with tentacles-- all that stuff is not kosher.

Well, I cook all the food I plan to eat over shabbat (the sabbath) on Friday, because cooking is forbidden by traditional Jewish law on shabbat. I keep the stove on warm, and a burner going under an iron plate, so that I can bring foods cooks before shabbat up to temperature on shabbat, because lighting fire is forbidden on shabbat. Before shabbat, I empty my pockets of car keys, money, wallet, coins, etc., because I do not drive on shabbat, nor will I carry money of any kind, or any instruments of doing business (like credit cards). During shabbat (that is, from sunset Friday to after sundown on Saturday) I will not go into stores or restaurants or cafes, and I will not travel. Right before shabbat begins on Friday, my fiancee lights the traditional candles, and says the traditional blessing to mark the beginning of shabbat. Then she sets the table, and I wash up from having been cooking all afternoon and shopping all morning. After that, we sing the traditional prayer service to begin shabbat, and then begin a meal (usually the nicest we can afford) by reciting the blessing sanctifying shabbat over a glass of wine, then making the traditional blessing over bread. We eat, we talk, we have a good meal, and then we finish by singing the grace after meals, and we sit and sing traditional shabbat songs.

So far, all of this is not really anything different than an Orthodox person would tell you. The differences are with things like electricity, which the Orthodox equate with fire, and therefore do not use on shabbat: I will use electricity on shabbat because like most Conservative Jews, I don't equate it with fire. I will write on shabbat if I have to, though traditionally it is forbidden, but I try very hard not to...and mostly, I don't. I don't play music on shabbat, or watch television or dvds, and I mostly don't use my computer, although I believe these things are not technically forbidden (the Orthodox do believe so) on shabbat, I think they distract one from keeping a peaceful, spiritual focus. I will answer the phone on shabbat (Orthodoxy will tell you that's forbidden), but only to chat with close friends and family. I will not talk to co-workers or discuss business of any kind. There are some other things that Orthodoxy would tell you are forbidden on shabbat that I don't hold the same opinion regarding, but nothing earth-shaking.

So what do I do on shabbat? In the morning, technically, I should be going to synagogue, but I don't care for the one near me, so I usually get up and pray at home, and study the weekly portion of Torah (it is customary that every year the Torah [Pentateuch] is read aloud in the synagogue, a portion every week, along with a selection from one of the books of the Prophets), then my fiancee and I have lunch, do some more singing of traditional shabbat songs, then spend the afternoon reading and talking in the pool or hot tub. Often, friends will drop by and hang out with us, talking; or we'll take a nap and make love, until it's time for a light dinner, often accompanied by some more singing, and some discussion of Torah, until shabbat is over, and we ceremonially mark its ending by a ritual involving a candle, spices, and wine.

A lot of non-Jews, I find, are weirded out by shabbat, and their reaction seems to be: "so many things you can't do! don't you get bored?!" But I never do. I look forward to it all week. It's the one day of the week I don't think about work, or school, or money problems, or the problems of the world. All that stuff goes away for that 25 hours, and it's just peacefulness, restfulness, good food and wine, nobody around but friends if we want them, song and leisurely talk of literature and philosophy and spirituality, admiring the world, being happy and grateful for our good lives. I don't know how that could get boring. It keeps me going. There's a saying, "The Jews don't keep Shabbat, Shabbat keeps the Jews."....

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)