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I am not a man so I can't speak from personal experience, but I heard from a "sexpert" who gave a talk at my college that the "thrusting" motion causes blood to flow faster into the penis and accelerates orgasm. She was recommending that men who come to soon use positions that allow their hips and thighs to be relaxed - like lying on their backs - and men who have trouble coming to use positions where they can thrust. This would explain why sitting in a chair or lying down causes problems when standing up or doggystyle (when the woman can be the active role if you want) you do fine - you have to use your hips and thigh muscles to stay still and stable or you fall over.
That being said, next time, try pushing against the bed with your legs, pressing your hips against her as if you were thrusting (though you obvously can't move very much). Even if it doesn't help your hardness, it will feel good to her and make it easier for her to get the feeling she's looking for, because you will be more stable and not just sink into the bed when she tries to press or rub aginst you.
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