OP, you are talking about initiating with your woman, yes? Not someone new? (Sorry, I'm a little slow right now).
The two are very different, and I actually share your problem in the "new" case, but if it's someone with whom you've already been intimate, you shouldn't feel embarrassed about approaching it in any sort of way, within reason of course. My point is, if sex is already on the table, then the worst that will happen is "I'm not in the mood", and you can work from there on either accepting that or getting her in the mood with a massage.
Additionally, find how she likes to be touched? Is there one spot that really just gets her off? I've noticed that at least some women (that is to say, haven't seen an example to the contrary) don't necessarily care about originality, but care about their one primary "fetish" being satisfied. I can't find a better word than fetish, but what I mean is, if she likes to get one part of her neck sucked, or if there's one spot on her thigh... Hope that makes sense my friend
