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Anonymous Member · 08-22-2009, 09:58 PM

I'm a male in a stable long-term relationship. Things are generally good, but I am an introvert and have some difficulty expressing my feelings, desires, and needs. I've been working on this and have been improving, but I have other challenges ahead.

I've had bad relationships in the past. Generally speaking, I've developed as a passive male, who'd sooner turtle up and do without than go after what I really want. I've come to expect things to happen and for people to come to me.

I have gotten to the point where I know what's going on, but I need advice and practical tips on how to work on this. My whole life, I've never really pursued women, and so I don't really know how to do it, and my confidence in doing so is low. I guess you could say I'm not really good with women, romantically speaking. Though I will say that the sex act itself--however uninspired--at least yields satisfactory results.

One problem I'd like to work on is initiating sex. In most cases, sex is initiated by my partner. It is usually done so by subtle hints that will develop into something more, and it's usually pretty conventional. Otherwise, the best I can do with initiating is to convince my partner to receive a footrub and back massage from me, which invariably can lead to sex. I suppose I could just use this technique, but I'd prefer not to be so limited and predictable. Using it so much makes it seem almost underhanded, as though I've tricked her into wanting sex just by me subtly pressing her buttons.

I want to know how men generally initiate sex. I want the details. On the web, there is much written on how women can do it. It's as though it's popular to empower women to do something so rare for them to do, and yet to me it isn't rare at all. On the flip side, it's as though men initiating sex is such a given that there needn't be anything written about it. If it were so natural, then why am I so inept at figuring it out? Maybe I'm just too shy.

What do men do to initiate sex? What do they say? What is the body language? What are the situations? How do they read women? What is cheesy and to avoid? What is rare and yet powerful? What do women want men to do? What's sexy? How much planning is there vs. spontaneity? What do women want men to do?

Help. I need to work on my "manliness," as much as that may sound lame. I don't want to taken seriously, and I don't want it to appear I'm trying too hard. I just want to get to a point where I can confidently let my partner know I want to make love to her--if not then and there, then at least sometime in the near future, as I realize spontaneous sex isn't always ideal.

Thanks for your help in advance.

08-22-2009, 09:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Anonymous Member Addict	How do men initiate sex? I'm a male in a stable long-term relationship. Things are generally good, but I am an introvert and have some difficulty expressing my feelings, desires, and needs. I've been working on this and have been improving, but I have other challenges ahead. I've had bad relationships in the past. Generally speaking, I've developed as a passive male, who'd sooner turtle up and do without than go after what I really want. I've come to expect things to happen and for people to come to me. I have gotten to the point where I know what's going on, but I need advice and practical tips on how to work on this. My whole life, I've never really pursued women, and so I don't really know how to do it, and my confidence in doing so is low. I guess you could say I'm not really good with women, romantically speaking. Though I will say that the sex act itself--however uninspired--at least yields satisfactory results. One problem I'd like to work on is initiating sex. In most cases, sex is initiated by my partner. It is usually done so by subtle hints that will develop into something more, and it's usually pretty conventional. Otherwise, the best I can do with initiating is to convince my partner to receive a footrub and back massage from me, which invariably can lead to sex. I suppose I could just use this technique, but I'd prefer not to be so limited and predictable. Using it so much makes it seem almost underhanded, as though I've tricked her into wanting sex just by me subtly pressing her buttons. I want to know how men generally initiate sex. I want the details. On the web, there is much written on how women can do it. It's as though it's popular to empower women to do something so rare for them to do, and yet to me it isn't rare at all. On the flip side, it's as though men initiating sex is such a given that there needn't be anything written about it. If it were so natural, then why am I so inept at figuring it out? Maybe I'm just too shy. What do men do to initiate sex? What do they say? What is the body language? What are the situations? How do they read women? What is cheesy and to avoid? What is rare and yet powerful? What do women want men to do? What's sexy? How much planning is there vs. spontaneity? What do women want men to do? Help. I need to work on my "manliness," as much as that may sound lame. I don't want to taken seriously, and I don't want it to appear I'm trying too hard. I just want to get to a point where I can confidently let my partner know I want to make love to her--if not then and there, then at least sometime in the near future, as I realize spontaneous sex isn't always ideal. Thanks for your help in advance.