LordEden

I couldn't count the amount of times I have fucked up in a kitchen. When I was in my first real kitchen, I fucked shit up. I was the king of fucking shit up. My internal clock is not that good when it comes to minutes. I left things in ovens, pans on to long, sauces on high. You name it, I did it and it was bad. I had to learn the hard way and get better as I went.

Some of the fuck ups I did in a kitchen:

* Thought I turned down the burner on my grits that I had cooking in the front but turned down the sauce sitting on the back burner. My grits became a southern volcano of goodness that bubbled up and exploded all over the place. Jumping back in to turn it down I got hit with a pipping hot blob on my arm. Wiping it off does not work, there is a reason it's called redneck napalm. It sticks to you and burnnnnnnns. I thought that burn would never go away.

* Was making some caramelized jack daniel's onions for a burger we had on our menu. Right when I hit the pan with my jack daniel's (and I use alot of liquor in my food) my sous-chef leaned in to look at a sauce. Flames went up and hit him in the face. It wasn't a bad burn at all... but it did catch most of his eyebrow. After almost getting my ass kicked by a very large man, I was banished to dish pit for the next 3 days. I became his kitchen bitch for the next few weeks. It took it over 3 weeks to start to grow back.

* I once set my whole stove top on fire. I had 4 eyes of an gas stove top as my main cooking area. Under the eyes is a pan that slides under the eyes to catch the crap that comes off of pans. Well, I didn't know it needed to be cleaned out. I threw some cognac into a pan and ended up splashing it onto the range. Next thing I knew, my entire range was flaming up. All of the leftovers and grease that had accumulated under the eyes had caught fire. I didn't know what to do so I threw water on it. That was not a good idea. Thankfully the sous-chef grabbed a fire extinguisher and put it out. I had to cook everything I had up on the flat top and they had to call the stove guy in the next day. I had to clean the whole line by myself the next day to make up for it.

* Kitchen knifes are sharp. Brand new kitchen knifes are *really* sharp. I was slicing peppers with my brand new chef's knife and wasn't holding my fingers correctly. My knife went right through the tips of my index finger and thumb. Two little pieces of nail and fingertip where laying on my cutting board. I had no health insurance. I knew I would fail a drug test. I could not lose my job. What does every good southern boy grab when something breaks? Duck Tape. Gauze with paper towel went over my fingers and duck tape followed. I was silver fingers for 2 weeks while it healed over. Funny thing is, half way through the healing process I did the same thing to my ring finger. I had 3 silver fingers for a good long while.

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Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich