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Originally Posted by Acetylene
Get a puppy.
I'm serious. Get a Shi-Tsu, if you don't mind their funny-looking face. Their bodies are soft and rounded like a baby's, and cuddling them feels exactly like a furry baby. They want nothing more than to be with you and be cuddled by you and be groomed, fed, pampered, and mothered as much as you like.
A dog takes up less time and gives you that unconditional love and outlet for mothering instincts that we crave. And they stay that way their whole lives, unlike human children; you only have that feeling of complete closeness until they start walking, and then you start an 18-year process of slowly letting go.
My 2 cents: Definitely don't have a baby now. You have plenty of time for motherhood, and it will be much more difficult to have your baby AND pursue your education/career at the same time. Unlike your uterus, you education and career cannot be put on hold without suffering badly. Wait until you're ready to focus on your baby before you have one. It's not like you are deciding "Baby or no Baby," just "Baby now, or baby later."
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Ding ding. I have a german shepherd puppy, partially for this reason. Another option would be to a foster for your local humane society. Then you get to take care of young kitten and puppies when they need it most (you do have to give them up for adoption though).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaindra
That said, I will say that it's one of those things that you're never truly ready for. You just do it and figure out the rest later. Will it be easier after the PhD? I doubt it. There is no "easy" time. But some people work sequentially on goals, others do better working on goals in parallel. It may also be that having a child alters some of your goals...and that isn't always a bad thing either. It's our job to grab the happiness when it comes, not to delay it until things are "perfect".
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I'm not disagreeing with you that there is no easy time to have a baby but do you know anyone working on PhD? It is a lot of work even with no family to take care of. That said, it also takes a lot of time but you can definitely add a few years if you have a child in the middle.
I don't think your biological clock is going to stop ticking any time soon Genuinegirly. The urge to have kids seems to fade slightly and then come back. It is not at all unnatural to want to have a child, and it's also not at all unnatural to want to make sure the timing is right.
The method of coping that worked best for me was getting a puppy. Something to take care of and worry about. And boy did that work. After dealing with a 6 week old puppy, I seriously did not want kids (ironically my boyfriend then decided he wanted a child). That said, the dog's older now and my niece will be born soon so my clock is kind of ticking again. For me, it's not so much wanting a kid right now, but wanting to make sure I'm in the right position to have one in a specific amount of time (as in, I want a child sooner than later).
Point is, ultimately the choice is up to you but I don't see harm in waiting (as long as you don't wait too long). It will never be easy to have a child, but keep in mind that some things will make it more of a challenge (ie - PhDs). If you're happy to spend more time in school so that you can have a child that is perfectly fine. I hope that helps, sorry for the long post.