Thread: perplexed
View Single Post
Old 07-30-2009, 05:44 PM   #21 (permalink)
savmesom11
Insane
 
savmesom11's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganSnake View Post
if he can't find the strength to actually try and save his marriage, then leaving her is what he should do regardless of what he said at the altar. Why have both of them suffer because of the promise you made when you got married?
I see what your saying and understand your ideology, you are probably being more rational than I am about this. But, I just can't get past this whole idea that we can just pick out a new one when the old one doesn't work as good as it once did. THAT'S CALLED DATING NOT MARRIAGE!

The truth of the matter is this man is not going to find what he is looking for somewhere else. I have had amazing lovers who would have made AWFUL husbands and terrible lovers whom I could have spent my whole life with.....the issue is not about what he is missing in his relationship but what he is missing within himself. This cycle will continue for him and any relationship he is in if he doesn't figure out what he needs and is craving out of life.

You notice he mentioned nothing about serious and life altering issues, just the fact that he wants to try out a skinny girl or even any girl other than his wife.....he isn't complaining that his wife is not meeting his emotional, economical, or supportive needs. He is complaining that she's fat and he wants to sleep around. So what happens when he meets the skinny chick who's a bad lay and even worse human being? What do we say then? Keep trying until you find the right one? It seems to me he is bored and has probably reached the comfort stage of his marriage (over 7 years) and just doesn't know how to move forward from here.

---------- Post added at 08:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:35 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Punk.of.Ages View Post
Kudos for being ever wise in all of your immense self-righteousness, but not all of us were blessed with such insight from birth. Some of us had to gain it through experience and mistakes.
I have lived and learned just like you...self-righteous?!?! Yeah, it's obvious you know nothing about me...nor was I implying that my way is the only way...just because I take marriage seriously and people's self-worth and commitments to one another equally as serious does not make me self-righteous...it means I stand for something. Sorry for you...

No I don't think someone should stay and be miserable or make someone else miserable just because they made a mistake when they weren't wise enough to know better BUT I also don't think it should just be an easy: "Well you settled and you were young and now that you know better lets just destroy other lives so you can get what you were always looking for." What's wrong with saying: " You should try to work it out with your wife first?" What's wrong with asking him to put some effort into the woman he committed his life too? If he tries and fails and he tries and fails or if she just doesn't meet him half way, well then sure you need to move forward you did all you could to fix the marriage....but until your exhausted from trying....YOU DIDN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH!
__________________
* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *
savmesom11 is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360