Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
I know this may sound paradoxical, considering who it's coming from, but... That's a commonly held view of things that is IMO nothing more than emo nonsense justifying a five-year-old-style temper tantrum about getting what I want when I want it.
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Whether it's emo nonsense or not, if this guy simply settled and doesn't really love this woman, he owes it to her to break his word and let her find someone that means it.
I would like to see things work out between this member and his wife. In my opinion, if they truly love each other, it shouldn't be that hard to work out, but sometimes things just can't be truly worked out and words have to be broken.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
Look, one alternative is to alter his agreement with his wife to include other relationships. She would have to accept that alteration to their agreement for that to work, of course, and given what he's said, she might have a hard time with that. But I'm saying something much more nuanced here than "shut up and settle". I think he really can have anything he wants as long as it's done inside a context of honoring his word. That's the foundation for my relationships working. Sometimes that's ALL that has my relationships work. Polyamory's not all picnics and blowjobs, you know.
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If they truly love each other, and are mature enough to handle this alternative, I agree it's the best way to fix this. I honestly think, from the vibe of his post, this guy settled for a girl he didn't really want to be with, and the only thing that fixes a mistake like that is honesty and pain.