It sounds to me like you settled for a woman you didn't really want to spend your life with. Because of that, there's no easy way out of this. Fact is, this will not go away. Those "What if?"'s are here until they're answered. Therefore you have two options.
Option A) Leave your wife, probably destroy her emotionally, and go out and try to find what you're looking for, or...
Option B) Work your head out, establish better communication with your wife as far as what your wants and needs are, and get over the "What if?"'s.
Option A may seem like the easier one, but you have to think long run. Being single isn't easy. That's probably why you settled in the first place. It's lonely and downright fucking sucks sometimes. It'll just as much work as working this out with your wife, if not more.
I'm not trying to be biased on what I think you should do, though. I don't know the whole situation. I think it really comes down to whether or not you truly love her. If you do, I'd say work it out. If you don't, cut your losses and get out.
Just remember, everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes you have to be a bit selfish to truly correct them.
---------- Post added at 05:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:35 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
This is really simple.
You gave your word to be a specific way with her, when you stood at the altar (or whatever) with her.
Until you explicitly re-define that word, that promise you made is still in effect.
None of your whining changes the fact that you promised something fairly specific that day. Buyers who get buyers remorse are still buyers.
Be a man of your word.
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That's all fine and dandy until reality steps in and one realizes just how prone the heart is to making mistakes and changing the way it feels.
That's the first problem with vowing forever to another person, but that's probably another thread...