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Condoms don't 100% protect against STD's, especially HPV (which causes genital warts and cervical cancer) and herpes.
Don't cheat on her. Even with protection, you could be taking some disease home to your wife, and she doesn't deserve that just because you didn't want to make a firm decision.
If you aren't happy, figure out what would make you happy. Let her know that you feel lied to because she didn't stick to the things she promised you she would do if you stayed. If she doesn't care about you, there's no reason for you to stay with her.
Sounds to me that it's more like she doesn't care about herself and has low self esteem. If she doesn't care about her weight and manipulates you, she needs to work on those issues or risk pushing you away.
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