I'm still trying to wrap my mind around why you haven't taken your mother's name off your student loans. If you go bankrupt in the midst of this mess (and that's a huge if), you don't want your mother's life to be affected. You can and should take full responsibility for your debt. Since you're considering speaking to someone about your student loans so you can defer for medical reasons, you should also consider freeing your mother by transferring the loans entirely to your name.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cimarron29414
... break each thing down into small tasks and tackle them one by one. Don't let your mind wander to what you can not control...
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This is what I'd call dancing in the rain. Life is pouring down buckets of nastiness, time to figure out how to wade through it.
Developing a system can't hurt. I tend to break things down as well - "this is what I need to do today." When that's too intimidating, I break it down even
further, "This is my sole responsibility for the next 15 minutes." It'll shock you what you can get done in a day when you take it a quarter-hour at a time. Before you start the next step, ask yourself not if you can get through the rest of the list of things to do for the day - instead figure out if you can get through the next fifteen minutes.
I tend to the idea that you're feeling sick not because your beautiful girlfriend is showing off to other men for cash, but rather you're bothered by the whole idea that she has to. You're a strong man, or you always have been until this crazy string of events - you feel you should protect those you love from potentially harmful environments, rather than supporting them as they enter them on a near-daily basis. It has to be difficult. It may not become easier over time. But you may be better able to handle the difficult nature of the emotions involved as you work through them.
I'm not about to recommend professional psychological help simply because I have no idea what financial burden it might entail. I will say, though, that I have a couple of chronically ill friends (epilepsy, lymes) who have benefited from their sessions. Being able to understand their physical limitations, picking up on their body's signals when they've over-worked before an injury results, and coping with the fact that they really can't do everything they once could -- these are the things they have learned through the help of professionals.