Originally Posted by ratbastid

I see now we've been answering the question "what should I do", when you're asking the question "why is this upsetting me so much?". My apologies on all our behalf--there's no quicker way to drive somebody nuts than to answer some question other than the one they asked.

What's funny about this is that your mouth and your stomach are saying different things. One of two things must be happening.

First (and I think most likely): My general feeling about this is that we SAY all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons, but there are ways we communicate (like, what we do, where we go, and what happens with us physically) that reveal how things really are for us. Sucking it up and "being okay with it" is noble and looks supportive, which we think of as a good thing, and our interest in being good sometimes overwhelms our willingness to really say how it is for us. So that's one possibility.

The other possibility is, you've got something going on physically that has nothing to do with the situation, and you're attributing it to being upset about her current line of work. If it really is like, "I'm fine with it, I went and checked it out and I'm comfortable with it, I trust her completely, and yet my physical symptoms seem to say otherwise", then one possibility is that you've got physical symptoms for some entirely other reason, and you're the one drawing the "because" connection there.

I don't know anything about your particular circumstances, obviously, but I think if you follow whichever of these proposals seems to speak to you to its logical conclusion, you'll get some clarity on the "why" question.