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Anonymous Member · 07-28-2009, 07:59 AM

OP was made by my boyfriend.

For the recommendations that we talk about this, we have. In depth. For hours.

He's stuck, I'm worried about him. The thought of all of our bills coming crashing down around us right now has us both a bit hysterical. I'm not just doing this for his bills, I have some of my own as well, but I certainly will be paying for his bills.

I don't make as much money as the other girls because I won't take off my bottoms or allow anyone to touch my vagina. I don't want to do this job for very long, it isn't a career choice. I'm prepharmacy right now. I just got fired from my pharm tech contracting position after 2 weeks at the army hospital, I was out sick and my contractor told me they would call the base and let them know, but something happened with the communication and the hospital is blaming me, so I'm fired.

I wasn't expecting to be fired, had no money in savings.

My boyfriend and I both have anxiety and panic issues. Mine's more general anxiety and PTSD and he has OCD. I sometimes have panic about situations that don't require it, as does he. So, I was curious how his feelings would hold up after a few days.

Making the decision to work at the club took a few steps. The first was discussing it, he said that he would be okay with this idea, I told him that I wanted him to check out the club where I would work before he made a decision. Then, the next day, we went there and I talked to the owner, he said that he had a good feeling from the owners (they don't require me to take off my bottoms or do anything I'm uncomfortable with). Then, we went to buy an outfit for me, and after that was when he started having anxiety.

I told him that we didn't have to do it now that he was feeling differently, but he said that then we'd be out the money I spent on the costume, so I worked Fri and made the money back. Friday night he was very anxious and said he needed someone to talk to about this, so I suggested that he post here so he could get different viewpoints without having to tell his friends what I'm doing. I also told him that I'd take off Saturday and not work so he could have a break from worrying about me going in.

We told him mom what I was doing, she said that it's important that I not do this because I feel I can't do anything else or because I have to do it, and said that if that is the case we will all work 2 jobs. Unfortunately, that's not realistic. His mom has a lot of medical issues with her back, the last time OP worked 2 jobs, he blew his knee out and had to have surgery, I'm already in school and working 2 jobs with lupus and school would kill me, I can barely work 1 and not have to sleep 10 hours a night.

I'm doing this job temporarily to get us out of this hole. I didn't expect to get fired and he's about to lose his job, so I don't see any other options that give me cash daily pay without taxes taken out.

That being said, my relationship with him is very important to me. The past 2 years have been hell on everyone involved. If he needs me to quit, I'll quit. But he doesn't even know if I need to quit, because none of the choices have good outcomes. I don't do anything there that makes me uncomfortable, and so I don't feel that I'm disrespecting our relationship. I set my boundaries very high with the guidelines that he and I both outlined when we first discussed me working here.

I'm not sure where to proceed, because it pains me to see him this way. I have told him that if I don't see him getting used to the idea of me working here, or at least stop having massive stomach pains, i will have to quit. I'm not going to have him suppressing his emotions just to be okay with me doing something he isn't okay with. So yes, we've been open and honest with communication (where I've been able to force him to talk to me and not withdraw) every step of the way. I've certainly been open and honest about my motivations/boundaries/feelings with everything. This doesn't bother me to work here, but it bothers me that he's so upset.

He seemed better about it yesterday. I'm not sure what to make of that. I'm just waiting to see.

07-28-2009, 07:59 AM	#37 (permalink)
Anonymous Member Addict	OP was made by my boyfriend. For the recommendations that we talk about this, we have. In depth. For hours. He's stuck, I'm worried about him. The thought of all of our bills coming crashing down around us right now has us both a bit hysterical. I'm not just doing this for his bills, I have some of my own as well, but I certainly will be paying for his bills. I don't make as much money as the other girls because I won't take off my bottoms or allow anyone to touch my vagina. I don't want to do this job for very long, it isn't a career choice. I'm prepharmacy right now. I just got fired from my pharm tech contracting position after 2 weeks at the army hospital, I was out sick and my contractor told me they would call the base and let them know, but something happened with the communication and the hospital is blaming me, so I'm fired. I wasn't expecting to be fired, had no money in savings. My boyfriend and I both have anxiety and panic issues. Mine's more general anxiety and PTSD and he has OCD. I sometimes have panic about situations that don't require it, as does he. So, I was curious how his feelings would hold up after a few days. Making the decision to work at the club took a few steps. The first was discussing it, he said that he would be okay with this idea, I told him that I wanted him to check out the club where I would work before he made a decision. Then, the next day, we went there and I talked to the owner, he said that he had a good feeling from the owners (they don't require me to take off my bottoms or do anything I'm uncomfortable with). Then, we went to buy an outfit for me, and after that was when he started having anxiety. I told him that we didn't have to do it now that he was feeling differently, but he said that then we'd be out the money I spent on the costume, so I worked Fri and made the money back. Friday night he was very anxious and said he needed someone to talk to about this, so I suggested that he post here so he could get different viewpoints without having to tell his friends what I'm doing. I also told him that I'd take off Saturday and not work so he could have a break from worrying about me going in. We told him mom what I was doing, she said that it's important that I not do this because I feel I can't do anything else or because I have to do it, and said that if that is the case we will all work 2 jobs. Unfortunately, that's not realistic. His mom has a lot of medical issues with her back, the last time OP worked 2 jobs, he blew his knee out and had to have surgery, I'm already in school and working 2 jobs with lupus and school would kill me, I can barely work 1 and not have to sleep 10 hours a night. I'm doing this job temporarily to get us out of this hole. I didn't expect to get fired and he's about to lose his job, so I don't see any other options that give me cash daily pay without taxes taken out. That being said, my relationship with him is very important to me. The past 2 years have been hell on everyone involved. If he needs me to quit, I'll quit. But he doesn't even know if I need to quit, because none of the choices have good outcomes. I don't do anything there that makes me uncomfortable, and so I don't feel that I'm disrespecting our relationship. I set my boundaries very high with the guidelines that he and I both outlined when we first discussed me working here. I'm not sure where to proceed, because it pains me to see him this way. I have told him that if I don't see him getting used to the idea of me working here, or at least stop having massive stomach pains, i will have to quit. I'm not going to have him suppressing his emotions just to be okay with me doing something he isn't okay with. So yes, we've been open and honest with communication (where I've been able to force him to talk to me and not withdraw) every step of the way. I've certainly been open and honest about my motivations/boundaries/feelings with everything. This doesn't bother me to work here, but it bothers me that he's so upset. He seemed better about it yesterday. I'm not sure what to make of that. I'm just waiting to see.