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Dear Top 40
Dear Top 40,
You don't really know me because I listen to bands that feature middle aged men wearing creepy skull face paint and singing about werewolves, zombies, and vampires... but we need to talk about content. I'm really lost and I've got a few lyrical statements I'd like you to explain from some of your recent constantly-played tunes:
"...I wanna take a ride on your disco stick."
"...do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."
There's more, but you get the picture.
What the fuck does that stuff mean? Yeah, YEAH, I get the sexual agenda, but it's like... a real leap. What's next? Gettin' all gangsta-grunge and sing about "shoving my man-bat in your gaping maw" and the like?
And don't get me started about Weezer's dumb-as-shit "and that's as bad as chocolate ice cream" lyrics. People actually get paid millions of dollars to come up with this drivel? That shit makes Rancid's last album look like it deserves a Grammy. I know nobody will mistake punk for artistic genius, but at least the songs tell a story.
Thanks,
Crompsin
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I'm lost. Anybody capable of enlightening me to the shit that I'm listening to when I'm out drinking $7 beers and slamming my smoothspot against the back of a miniskirt on Saturday nights?
Perhaps I should start going to '80s night.
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