yournamehere

Their site describes most of the openings as 1/2" wide and being either "ribbed" or containing many "bumps"; the anal sleeve is 1/4" wide and smooth.

I don't know - getting poo on your peener is pretty physical.

However, one day before I shed this mortal veil, I'd like to try it with the 2-day porn star preparation method (aka "The Colonoscopy Preparation for Overachievers" method).

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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.