Originally Posted by Giant Hamburger

What you need is a nice girl undressed from the waste down
positioned on top of you facing the opposite direction.

I wish you the best of results.

Originally Posted by Jetstream

A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69." She says, "It's that time of the month, you know, the wrong time. But if you don't mind, I don't mind." They go into the bedroom, and are 69'ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings. She says, "Answer the door." He says, "But my face is a mess." She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich." He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was just eating a jam sandwich." The postman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth... I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."