Quote:
Originally Posted by little_tippler
I'd love to have snowy weigh in here.
I think that letting kids cry when they don't get what they want is fine. If you always yield to what they want they will never learn that life isn't handed to you on a silver platter. I think it's important to distinguish between them crying to get what they want, and crying because of actual distress. When it comes to really small babies, I am not so keen on the letting them cry business for too long. Babies have no other way to communicate with you other than cry, so I'd tend to be more aware of that than if the child was a little older. I don't think you're a bad mother. Parents, like your mom, meddle. Be patient but firm and show her where the boundaries lie.
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How I missed this thread, I don't know.
Letting children cry themselves to sleep is normal. twistedmosaic's method is what I use. There are a few major reasons why infants and toddlers cry, and it's important to run through the list of other needs. Are they wet? Are they hungry? Do they need a pacifier? Are they too warm? Are they too cold? Have they had too much stimulation? Are they tired? Once you take care of the basics twisted suggested, and make sure they're warm but not too warm, it's fine to let them cry. Some children, especially those of a difficult temperament, will almost always cry themselves to sleep.
As tippler suggested, boundaries are important. When young children entry the family picture, there is a renegotiation of boundaries between parent/child--in this case, your mother and you. You need to be clear with your mother as to where these new boundaries are. However, this is a delicate process during this lifestage as you don't want to alienate your mother, who could prove to be ultimately helpful to you. Patience and calm, clear communication is key. The boundary at this point is meant to be a little fuzzy. It's up to you to define where it is now.