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Oh, Jesus Christ... grow up, bro. You're too well-traveled and educated to be playing teenager-on-MySpace games.
The kind of girl that'll be attracted to the Douche Squeeb is not the kinda girl you wanna get near... even for the badger dance.
Just be honest in your profile. Show creativity, and post some pictures that showcase you in different settings / activities.
I'd offer to show you my profile for a lame attempt at Protips, but that seems like a way too personal gesture.
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