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Well, until the last post I was ready to side with your mother, up to a point (that point nowhere near "bad parent"), but now I'm wondering if you'll ever leave them alone in the same room with her. THAT would be being a bad parent, but it sounds like you're well aware of that.
Everyone who's not a parent probably should tread lightly in this thread because, well, you've never been throw sleep training, haven't had 3 AM feedings, gotten pooped on at 4 AM or dealt with any of the other shit that goes with being a parent. Honestly, unless you've been there, I don't care whether or not you agree with my opinions from here on out - you're in no position to even formulate your own opinion.
Putting aside the alcohol and drug issues completely, I think that grandmothers get special dispensation for things like this unless its directly undermining something that you're trying to accomplish, like teaching a child to go to sleep on it's own (non-parents - that doesn't magically happen). If my mother or mother-in-law wants to rock a baby to sleep or lay down with an older child, they're welcome to do it, because, honestly, the good things they bring to the table far outweigh that negative. They're going to be distracting the child, changing diapers, feeding, etc. to take the stress off the parents.
But letting your own child cry it out sometimes - nothing wrong there. In fact, it's doctor recommended for sleep training. Read Ferber and/or Weisbluth, who are both very well thought of when it comes to infant sleep.
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