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I'd love to have snowy weigh in here.
I think that letting kids cry when they don't get what they want is fine. If you always yield to what they want they will never learn that life isn't handed to you on a silver platter. I think it's important to distinguish between them crying to get what they want, and crying because of actual distress. When it comes to really small babies, I am not so keen on the letting them cry business for too long. Babies have no other way to communicate with you other than cry, so I'd tend to be more aware of that than if the child was a little older. I don't think you're a bad mother. Parents, like your mom, meddle. Be patient but firm and show her where the boundaries lie.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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