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Letting them cry is the way I was taught to put babies/young toddlers to bed while babysitting. The parents knew my methods. I was always asked back.
I would tell your mother that she hurts you when she tells you you're a bad parent. I would also ask her not to question your methods. If she doesn't want to provide consistenty for your children's lives by following your same procedures, you should find another relative or friend who is willing.
Were I in your shoes, I would have a difficult time speaking with my mother after this experience.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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