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Dude, you are putting way too much pressure on yourself here; not even to mention her. You met this girl on the interwebz a few months ago. Trust me, you don't even begin to truly know her. She is not The One, and putting her in the position of control that has you "doing anything for her" is not healthy. That's called desperation, man. You haven't had the best of luck with the ladies in the past and this chick is throwing you a bone, so you are latching on to her like a lost puppy. I've been in the same place many times. It never works out and just breeds a lot of unnecessary pseudo-heartache.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying forget this girl. I say go meet her. It has great potential to be a fun trip and good experience, if nothing else. Before you go, though, you need to take a step back and realize you're not in love, and you still have a lot to learn about this girl. You need to drop that expectation that you're going to find your soul mate waiting for you. It's unrealistic. Just go to have fun and see a friend, and let it progress from there. Let it ride, man. That will make it a better experience for you and her.
What's your hurry, anyhow? You're 19. You should be playing the field and testing your options at this point in life. Not holding yourself for some girl 500 miles away who you might not even like as much as you think you do at the end of the day...
Good luck, man, and watch your heart. You're leading it into dangerous territory.
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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager
"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike
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